National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month. 
Most likely the majority of us are not in the process of adopting a child. 
Some of us know someone who has adopted recently or will be adopting soon.
Regardless of which group we belong to, we all have a minute or more each day to utter a prayer. Throughout this month, why not take some time to pray for the following:

• Youth that are waiting to be adopted
• Families that are in the process of adopting or those who have recently adopted 
• That more families and individuals would prayerfully consider adoption

I actually know someone who will be leaving soon with her family to go to China! They are pretty excited to be at the end of the adoption process, but they are at the beginning of this adoption adventure. Here are some of the things I will be praying for them:

• Pray for the family's safety
• Pray that the adoption would be finalized without delay
• Pray that God would knit the hearts of all of the family members together
• Pray that God will help the adopted child to transition well into her new family and culture

"God sets the solitary in families.." Psalm 68:6

National Foster Care Month

May is National Foster Care Month! Youth in foster care face several challenges including multiple placements. These Youth may live with 3 or 4 different families during their time in care. Many due not have suitable luggage to hold their belongings. Here in Delaware, Girl Scout Caroline K. is trying to make a difference. She hoping to provide large sturdy duffle bags to youth in foster care. Caroline is selling sweet baked treats that you can purchase. The proceeds will go towards her goal of purchasing suitable bags for youth in foster care to hold their belongings. Caroline has identified a problem and has come up with a way to help. Saturday May 18, 2013 from 11 - 2pm is you opportunity to do something to help!

One Evaluation After Another

The evaluation at Child Development Watch took a couple of hours. It was clear with Jeremy's tears, inability to focus or respond appropriately to portions of the evaluation that things were not going well. At the end of the evaluation, the neurologist sat us down and carefully explained that based on what they were able get from Jeremy, he was demonstrating signs of autism. Since he was only 22 months, I believe we were told that they could not give a solid medical diagnosis of autism until he was older. This was enough to get him involved in early intervention services:speech, physical and occupational therapies. In less than 1 month the speech and occupational therapists were coming to our home for 30 minute sessions. We decided to take him to another location for the physical therapy session. I am not sure if there was much progress in the first few months because he cried so much during the sessions. The therapists were great. The speech therapist created 'pecs' or pictures of common items that he would need to request. She also started teaching him a few signs for 'juice' and 'more'. At that time he never showed much interest in using her tools. The Occupational therapist was great too. She had a cart full of the most interesting toys. Noah loved playing with them, but Jeremy just wanted her to go. A decision was made at some point to transfer Jeremy's therapy sessions to Easter Seals where the setting was more like that of a pre-school. There was hope that being around other children would help Jeremy feel more comfortable. It was a very nice environment and we met lots of families with children with a variety of special needs. After several month at Easter Seals he did finally begin to calm down and not cry as much. Now that he was approaching age 3 the discussions began about transitioning Jeremy into the school system. This meant he needed to be evaluated by a host of school specialists. I filled out a questionnaire in February 2006. That was followed by both school and home observations in March of 2006. The summary and recommendations were, "the pattern of behaviors noted in the present assessment is clearly consistent with the educational classification of autism.. it is recommended that Jeremy attend a program that is highly specialized in the use of established best practices for students with autism." We decided to go ahead and enroll him in the summer program. This would allow him to ease into a school routine before the school year actually began. We were blessed to move to Delaware at that time because the Autism program here was well known around the country. He had classmates early on whose families relocated just to be part of this program. In 2006 few states had public school programs that could accommodate that broad range of needs of students on the autism spectrum. As awareness about autism spectrum disorder has been raised, more of the needed services are being made available to families at no or minimal costs. The road has been long and difficult, but the Budd Family has come a long way by God's grace. Our boys are now nine and ten years old and are doing great! They are each learning at their own pace and happy.

That Day in February 2005

The day finally arrived for Jeremy's check-up. It was the first week of February 2005. He was healthy. The pediatrician still felt that since Jeremy had always been on track the changes, if they remained, may be due to other factors. She told us that if he was not using 2-3 word sentences by his 2yr appointment, then she would send him for a hearing evaluation. I thought, ' are you kidding me? Wait until he is 24 months." My verbal response to her was something like, "ok thank you. We will see." I really felt like, "What!! Don't you see what I see?" My husband was OK with it. I think it is difficult for many people to accept that something may be wrong with their children: especially men when it concerns their sons. His agreement with the pediatrician's suggestions didn't last long. Jeremy received 3 shots that night including the MMR vaccine. I get the fact that vaccines help keep our kids from getting unthinkable illnesses. What I don't get is why they give so many so close together. I say this because, by the time we got to the van and buckled the boys into their car seats, Jeremy went off into a laughing spell. His eyes were dazed. We couldn't get him to stop. He must have continued for several minutes. At that point we looked at each other and knew something seriously wrong with our child. Just 6 months ago he was the average toddler. Now, we were in agreement! We continued with our normal routine, but wanted another opinion. There was a Moms/Playgroup at our church that we attended. Even though Jeremy would cry, I continued to go because Noah enjoyed being around his friends and needed it. I also enjoyed being around my friends. As God would have it, a play group meeting would offer us an opportunity for that 2nd opinion. One day the play group leader started talking about her own son's speech delay. Here was my God moment!! She mentioned that her son had been evaluated at a place called Child Development Watch and suggested that I do the same for Jeremy. Yes-ss! That play group must have been sometime in March of 2005 or so. You see, I still have the first note from the Nurse I spoke to at Child Development Watch. It was dated April 8, 2005. The packet had all the information about Jeremy's first evaluation appointment which was schedule for May 24, 2005. Jeremy would be 22 months by that date. I knew in my heart that an early diagnosis and early intervention was critical and nothing was going to stop that! Everyone agreed that before the evaluation date, Jeremy's hearing needed to be tested to rule out that the behaviors were not do to hearing loss. I am not sure if an order/script was needed from his doctor. Whatever was needed, we got it because his first hearing test was on April 11. The test results were inconclusive. He had to be sedated for the 2nd test which was in May. I have a couple of dates written down. The appointment must have been changed a couple of time. I don't think the results of that test were any better. To be honest, we felt that at home Jeremy had perfect hearing. He just didn't respond when we called him sometimes. It was hit or miss. The day of the evaluation, May 24th came.

God Often Uses Our Past Experiences

In my mind, precious time was going by. The doctor was next on the list to contact. Their doctor at that time was really great and spent lots of time with her patients. She noted my concerns, but urged us just to focus on his speech (he needed to be using single words). In the new year (2005), I called the doctor before Jeremy's 18 month appointment. Again, I shared my concerns and the information I had gathered. Her response was, "well maybe", but she focused more on the fact that he was still not talking. Her response was, "don't worry. Maybe it could be '2nd child syndrome'." Noah was the big brother who was very verbal and out going. Jeremy was just letting Noah talk for him. We also talked about sending Jeremy for a hearing evaluation after his upcoming appointment. In defense of a great doctor. This was early 2005 and at this time pediatricians knew very little about autism. It was just gaining traction at that time. In medical school and beyond doctors had not been trained or taught how to look for certain signs that may suggest the autism spectrum. Furthermore, at that young age no doctor would give a formal diagnosis of autism. It could have been many other things. Why did I think autism and not something else? I'm sure you have heard many stories about mothers having that feeling that something is not right about their children before the doctors and the tests confirm it. Many moms are with their children all of the time, like I was. I think God also used my previous experiences in combination with how He wired me. When I was in high school, one of my best friends had a cousin who was several years younger than we were. She had been diagnosed with autism. Also, during my time as a Sunday School teacher and Children's Church worker in NYC there was a single mom with 2 children: a girl and a boy who was the youngest. He was on the autism spectrum. She would have to stand outside the sanctuary and travel all over the building most Sundays with her son. He was constantly on the move. When I was teaching, she knew she could sometimes get a break and sit in the church service. I would encourage her to leave her son in the class with us. Around the same time, my cousin's daughter was diagnosed with autism. This was years before the disorder became so prevalent.

Autism Delaware 2013 Walk for Autism

Autism Delaware is sponsoring 2 Walks this year. Saturday April 20 at Cape Henlopen State Park in Lewes Saturday April 27th at Bellevue State Park in Wilmington For more info, go to the Autism Delaware site.

What Happened? - Part 4

We went in for Jeremy's checkup/shots the first week of December 2004 when Jeremy was about 16 months. He also received the flu shot at the end of December.(Note, these dates are accurate because I have his medical records) Around that same time it hit me, something was different with Jeremy. Our sweet engaging little boy seemed stop making eye contact as much as he did before. He would have these blank stares. What was worse... he also seemed to stop babbling and forming new words. I felt a strange grip in my stomach, but began moving mechanically. I don't' remember how, but I somehow got the telephone number to what I think was the NIH (National Institute of Health) and called. I must have looked it up online. A gentleman answered and I must have explained to him what I wanted. It was probably the next week that I received a pamphlet in the mail. My stomach was nervous, but I managed to open it. It listed the signs of autism. As I went through the list, it was clear to me that he was beginning to show some of the signs on the list, but not all. There was a small part of me that held on to hope. Jeremy wasn't doing anything like lining up toys or flapping his hands. More Info I reasoned, well if he doesn't line up with all the list points, then maybe I am wrong. I was going back and forth between doubt and hope. At times like these you feel such mixed emotions. I felt such pain. I wondered, how could this happen to our family? On the other hand I felt relief because to me, I had an answer about what was happening. Funny, little did I know this was the easy part. Ahead of me was an uphill battle over the next several months to convince everyone else including my husband that something was seriously wrong. I didn't talk about any of my concerns at first. I just kept observing and making mental notes. One other behavior emerged. It seemed like Jeremy at times would not respond to his name. My husband and I both noticed the endless crying in situations where Jeremy had no reason to cry. Every indoor location outside the home sent him into a fit of tears. He would only calm down when he was sure we were leaving. Some of the neighborhood Moms decided to start a play group since we all had preschoolers and toddlers. Each week, we would meet at a different house. Jeremy would cry from the time we arrived until we started to put his shoes on to go back home. Soon, I started to say things to my husband like, "have you noticed the difference in Jeremy?" To him the crying meant he just was not comfortable anymore being around other people. He didn't really notice the loss of eye contact. I think that was because he out at work close to 12 hrs each day and traveled for work. He just was not around the kids as much. As far as the not responding to his name, I would say this didn't happen as much in the evenings when my husband came home. I think it was because the boys missed him and his presence was able to draw Jeremy out some. The clock was ticking..

The Big Move to a Place Prepared for Us - Part 3

We had already prayed and knew that if they offered him a job, it would be the right next step for our family. So we relocated from West Elmira, NY (the hometown of Tommy Hilfiger) in February 2004. We lived in temporary housing for 3 months in Elkton, MD while we looked for a house. Noah was about 21 month and Jeremy barely 7 months. God had shown us in many ways that this move was completely of Him. New houses were going up in certain places do to the housing boom and that didn't those who wanted to sell the perfectly good houses they owned. Yet, our house sold in 5 days and the buyer who was relocating back to the area from California paid cash! This was the absolute opposite of what other couples were experiencing. At that time in the Corning housing market, scores of families left their houses or one spouse stayed behind as the other left in search other job opportunities. There was only one major employer in the area and it had recently gone through a series of layoffs. We had made some great friendships in Western NY and new that we would miss them. On the other hand, we were thankful to be opening a new chapter in our lives. The realtor assigned by the relocation team helped us get acquainted with the area. We were able to find and purchase another home within a few months. We chose an area filled with lots of young families, parks, wide side walks and close to public transportation. These were all important since I was at home with the boys. The latter was important to me since I grew up in NYC and enjoyed taking the boys for rides on the bus. We quickly settled into a routine. As a young toddler Jeremy was at times even more social than Noah. We both remember, in the Fall of 2004, Lloyd's boss invited us to a casual dinner party at his house. Jeremy was running around playing and smiling with everyone. Noah on the other hand wouldn't leave our side. The ever social and lively Noah was experiencing a rare shy moment. Jeremy had started forming simple words and had no problem babbling to everyone. Then one day...

And then there were Two - Part 2

After the birth of our 2nd son Jeremy, life changed overnight. This time I new what to expect when the labor pains began. When I went into labor, I didn't tell anyone for several hours, because my goal was to have a natural delivery. I quietly finished packing my overnight bag for the hospital. After that I spent a couple of hours in the kitchen preparing dinner because my sister was visiting from NYC. That afternoon (July 22nd) as we got into the van for a trip to the local Mall, I announced that I was in labor and would not be returning home that night. They looked at me puzzled to say the least. Unfortunately, after about 23 hours of labor, they had to wheel me into surgery again for another a c-section. I guess even though Jeremy was 5 days late he wanted to hangout in Mom's tummy a little longer. So with a second incision, a few tugs and pulls, he finally came out! Our 2nd bundle of joy was born on July 23, 2003. Noah was just 14 month old now. I admit those early days were crazy, hectic and definitely exhausting. Thank God I had help from my sister, niece and a friend. Jeremy was a great baby. Yes, we did the sleepless nights for the first couple of months, but he started sleeping through the night soon after that. Back during the first week, I remember my sisters first call to my mother after we returned home from the hospital. I heard my mother asking how is he doing? She said, "he looks like a little package". It may sound like a strange comment, but it was true. I thought to myself she's right. As some babies do, Jeremy for the longest time slept with his tiny leg and knees tucked up to his tummy. It was difficult for him to sleep on his back even when he was swaddled. (Knowing what we know now, could this have been a sign? I don't think so). Jeremy also got startled at loud noises months after he was out of the newborn stage. (Could this have been a sign? Maybe or maybe not). Hindsight is 20/20. Our sweet little boy developed on point. He too (like Noah) met all of the typical baby milestones ( rolling over, sitting up, tracking objects..) that Pediatricians look for as they examine infants. He also walked and began to talk before the age of one. I am getting ahead myself. Time to back track. In December 2003 Lloyd received an job offer from a company in Delaware...

An Aside... Not Part 2

I tried to post this last week. Hope you enjoy. This was dinner. I think Jeremy really enjoyed dinner.

It All Began...The Budd Family's Autism Journey - Part 1

I was born the youngest of 6 children. At about the age of 4, my parents took on the responsibility of raising one of the daughters of a close friend. We were the same age. One more was never a problem to my mother (can't say the same for dear old Dad) and that made us a family of 7 children. As far back as I can remember, babies and children brought a smile to my face. There was always time in my schedule to stop and smile, wave or wink at any baby that came my way. They always seemed to respond back with a generous smile (this is a key point to our story). As my older siblings began to marry and have children, they were always at our family home. It was a delight to take them out and we all just loved them. Early on in my Christian journey, I became a Sunday School teacher and Children's Church worker. Needless to say, I was constantly around children. As most girls do, I hoped to get married and have several children. So, by the time the wedding bells rang, I was already past 30 and was happy to start a family pronto. We had our first wonderful baby boy in 2002. Noah was born a month after we celebrated our 1st anniversary! We couldn't be happier. I handed in my resignation, trained my replacement and left for motherhood with a big smile. Noah was healthy and happy! He met all of his milestones on or before the given range. Life was good! Soon after - 5 months to be exact, we discovered that baby #2 was on the way. Could life get any better? Not for me! We both wanted another boy and God blessed us again with a beautiful baby boy. The pregnancy was typical. I felt great except for being tired due to having care for a busy toddler. After the birth of our 2nd son Jeremy, life changed...

Dinner Tonight!

This month the Budd Family has decided to share stories and pictures of our journey with autism. Tonight is Tuesday and Jeremy has chosen chicken for dinner. What a relief to the rest of us! Up until last month, he ate pork chops on Tuesday- that went on for about 3 years.

Upcoming Awareness Campaign Info

Here's what is coming up soon on the website at www.Speak4twc.org : April is National Autism Month. May is National Foster Care Month. Visit the SPEAK website often for information about these 2 issue that affect millions of families!

It's Almost Over!

Thanks to all of the friends of SPEAK who Showed Great Support for the organization over the past 7 seven days! Join us for our Birthday Celebrations throughout the month of March!!

Foster Care Stats - 26,000 us too much!!

Saw an interesting stat today on a factsheet PDF from The Dave Thomas Foundation. In 2010 26,000 youth aged out of foster care without being adopted! Seriously people (adults), what are we doing to the next generation? Click here for more info.